A Mother's Love

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” – Cardinal Mermillod

The most important relationship I ever had was my relationship with my late mom. My mom and I enjoyed doing a lot of things together. One of the most important things in my mother’s life was gardening. She really took great pride with her plants. She treats them as if they were her friends. She waters it every day making sure that they are healthy. My mom once told me that gardeners are special people. It takes a lot of patience, perseverance and love for living things to grow a garden. Gardening is tiresome and requires hard work, but my mother said that there is a beauty and fulfilment in seeing the result of your labor grow and come to fruition. There’s a certain feeling of serenity as you care for and nurture the plants in a garden. In nurturing living things and helping them to bring beauty and peace to the world, gardening can make a difference to the world, making their lives and the lives of those who get to see their garden richer and fuller. For my mom, maybe gardening was her way to be the careful nurturing person she wanted to be.

My mom just turned 53 when she passed away unexpectedly a year ago right on the day after her birthday. It was like one day, I woke up and she was gone. Like my heart was torn in two. One side filled with heartache, and the other died with her. As an only child, I was really devastated. In a blink of an eye, my whole world was in full chaos. When the world is in deep sleep, I lie awake at night, walking down the memory lane as my tears flow down my cheeks. Remembering her was easy. I do it every day. But missing her is a melancholy that never goes away. I still remember the sound of her breath and the words she said before her death. I can still feel her hands entangled warmly with mine. I envision her sweet, sweet smile. Although I do remember the last promise I made to her, stopping my tears I haven’t been able to. There are times that I’ll just look at the sky and talk to her. Oh what I wouldn’t give just to hear her. I miss her voice, her laughs; I miss everything about her, especially her genuine love for all of us. She was my first touch, first kiss and first hug. She IS my everlasting love.

Yes, it is really hard to let go and say goodbye. I cried endlessly when she died. I wished that we had more time to spend together. Her death made me realize that every single second we spent together, I wasted an opportunity to tell her how much I love her. There are so many “What Ifs” that are going through my mind, but what can I do? Life really is full of regrets. While I know she is already at peace, and that her struggles are at an end, there is still pain and sadness. But even though she’s gone, she left the legacy of her genuine love and perseverance. The ways she touched my life will always remain. She struggle years of devastating illness and hindrances but yet, through it all, her love and care for us remained her focus, and in so many ways, she was able to show that love to us. This perseverance through adversity is a powerful lesson for us, and I believe that it was her legacy.

This is an ideal legacy. A wonderful example to follow. So whatever you do, always keep your priorities straight. Love and care for your family. Do not ever take them for granted. Let them know in all ways you can show them that you love them. Don’t let adversities or setbacks or any of the distractions in the world keep you from the most important aspect of your life: your family. Besides, how many people in this world have it so much easier than my mom did? How many never had to face half the trouble she faced, and yet lose sight easily of what is truly essential. Many of us tend to get distracted by insignificant things in life. Many of us brood and focus on our little problems, and forget what is truly important.

But through everything my mom went through, she managed to keep her priorities straight. What can be more important than loving and showing your love for your family? How can some of us who are so much blessed, forget to be thankful to God, while somehow my mom kept her faith intact through all of her trials.

Keep focused on what is truly important, not only when your life is easy, but when it is difficult also. Seeing the genuine happiness in my mother’s eyes made my heart melt. The plants she nurtured and the love she showed us will live on and be with us even now that she has gone to be with God. My heart is full of genuine memories. Though life goes on without her, still it will never be the same. But there’s one thing that I promise, my love for her will never ever change and I won’t let the tears mar the smiles she has given to me when she was still alive.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you will never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But there’s also good news. They will forever live in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you’ll come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly --- that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you’ll learn to dance with the limp.” –Anne Lamott

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